Trailer Tales

Another smashing day in court today, my friends. Today, a bench trial for a man charged with disorderly conduct (fighting). He represented himself. Beauty part: his wife filmed the entire altercation with a video camera through the trailer window. Defendant did not object to the admission of the video, in fact, he wanted the judge to see it. Or, he thought he did. Unfortunately it showed the defendant had ample opportunity to retreat and call the police and that he threw the first punch. So he was guilty (fine = $100).

We open with a view of a palatial trailer park where numerous shirtless, shoeless, long-haired children are running about. Herding them are black t-shirt and black jeans-wearing adults, waiving their arms about like, well, apes trying to defend their territory and scare off other rival apes. The non-verbal communication is fascinating. We couldn't hear exactly what was being said, but I'm telling you the body language came straight from the wild kingdom. More proof of evolution, me thinks.

Highlights included a one-legged woman on crutches trying to intervene between the combatants, then getting tossed aside like a broken rag doll. Next, two really large ladies pulling bleached hair, slapping and wrestling in a disjointed dance of undulating, exposed mid-drifts. There were about twenty people -- and young kids, remember -- fighting, kicking, slapping and screaming.

It was a pathetic moment in human history. It was all we could all do to keep from laughing our asses off. I thought, "Oh my." Then the defendant turned to look at me and I realized I said it out loud.