Parenthood is draining.

We got to visit with Summer this weekend at the Wexner Center on the OSU campus. They boys were absolutely horribly behaved. They touched stuff, wouldn't be quiet, got me scolded by the security, squirmed, whined, stomped, begged, and were lucky they were doing it all in public else I would have been spankin' some butts. Of course, this photo was the scene once we made it back to Bittytown. Figures.

Available now in your grocer's Asian section

I will eat a lot of stuff. I am not daunted by new and unusual foods. I remember fondly a trip to Springfield, Ohio, to my friend Punam's house while in college. Niki and Anita ate Hamburger Helper, and I ate chutneys, poori and everything else that was put in front of me. My children have inherited this adventurous spirit.

Aron insisted that we purchase these confusing and disturbing snacks last time we were in the Asian section of the supermarket. I was mortified. The only thing that should taste like shrimp is shrimp, I say. But, the minis have no such hang ups. They enthusiastically pounded down the bag. I liken them to fishy Andy Capp's hot fries. They are not like potato chips, as it is possible to eat only one. And to immediately regret it.

Buzz kill.

Had a nice late dinner with bloody marys, grilled chicken and my sweet hubs. But nothing kills a buzz like two sick kids. Natch. Make that two sick kids, one of whom just barfed chicken and chocolate milk on my berber. Forget coffee, nothing straightens you out like sick children! I'm instantly sober, and I'm gonna be up all freakin' night. All you single and/or parentless friends of mine, read: you are SO DAG LUCKY and you have NO IDEA. Don't envy me. PITY me. I'm just takin' one for the human race. And, oh yeah, YOU'RE WELCOME!

BFFs: Guv'nuh Ted & Aron

Today Aron and I met the Governor of Ohio, Ted Strickland! Aron sat very quietly and very patiently through a one-hour speech. I'm so proud!

Blind Fury

I am so mad right now. One of my clients, who is on a contract to pay me each month by the first of the month, has not sent the payment yet. Note today is the seventh. That check is more than a third of my salary every month. If you only got paid once a month, you'd be pretty freaking antsy to get that check, don't ya think? I already raised a little hell, and am tenatively planning a mfing sh*t storm on Monday if it does not arrive by tomorrow. I will really be looking forward to the day when we have a little scratch saved up I don't have to sweat things like this. That day ought to be in the next five years or so. That reminds me, I need to buy a lottery ticket tomorrow.

Anyway, it occurs to me that people, by in large, don't want to pay attorneys. I think it's an American hang-up: if the product isn't tangible, it's snake oil. My job my job is part writing, part talking, and part thinking. A little original paperwork is generated, lots of photocopies are made. Thus, lawyer = snake oil salesman.

So, mere years into my career, I have become crusty. I nod my head while they sob, pass the tissues and state, well, the retainer is $3,000. Come back when you have it. How callous! you accuse. Aren't lawyers supposed to want to "help people?"

I do want to help people. I help people everyday. I realize more and more that my job is significant not just because I have the power to help people, but because it is my heartfelt desire to do so. I'm not trying to impress you. I'm trying to demonstrate the humility of my position: I recognize that I am a servant.

But humility won't keep the lights on. You can be humble and firm about getting paid. I have gotten SCREWED by people who claim they don't have money to pay me, who promise they will pay me when they can, or who promise to pay on a payment schedule. I have already done thousands of dollars of work for people who I've tried to be nice to, and tried to help out, since they seemed to be in such dire straits. Truth is, if people can get something for free, they will. Especially when that thing they want for free has no value to them anyway. Free snake oil? Sure, I'll take a gallon.

And when my mortgage company and school loan lender are calling because they didn't get their money, they don't care that I am trying to help people out.

I hurt my family trying to help others.

I don't resent my job. I resent not getting paid. And by in large, I am the person who is in charge of my not getting paid. I want to help, but I need help too. That's why, in God We Trust. All others pay cash.

Gone Fishin'

We went fishing this weekend.

Aron's first fish ever! Then, he proceeded to catch two more just as big.

This is my take. I then caught another bluegill smaller than this. My kid totally showed me up!