Trailer Tales

Another smashing day in court today, my friends. Today, a bench trial for a man charged with disorderly conduct (fighting). He represented himself. Beauty part: his wife filmed the entire altercation with a video camera through the trailer window. Defendant did not object to the admission of the video, in fact, he wanted the judge to see it. Or, he thought he did. Unfortunately it showed the defendant had ample opportunity to retreat and call the police and that he threw the first punch. So he was guilty (fine = $100).

We open with a view of a palatial trailer park where numerous shirtless, shoeless, long-haired children are running about. Herding them are black t-shirt and black jeans-wearing adults, waiving their arms about like, well, apes trying to defend their territory and scare off other rival apes. The non-verbal communication is fascinating. We couldn't hear exactly what was being said, but I'm telling you the body language came straight from the wild kingdom. More proof of evolution, me thinks.

Highlights included a one-legged woman on crutches trying to intervene between the combatants, then getting tossed aside like a broken rag doll. Next, two really large ladies pulling bleached hair, slapping and wrestling in a disjointed dance of undulating, exposed mid-drifts. There were about twenty people -- and young kids, remember -- fighting, kicking, slapping and screaming.

It was a pathetic moment in human history. It was all we could all do to keep from laughing our asses off. I thought, "Oh my." Then the defendant turned to look at me and I realized I said it out loud.

The beast rears its head

Our local Democratic Party website is a hoot. Check out this link, which refereshed the news page and gives updates on Wally World news. It seems to be pulling the news from Wal-Mart Watch, a site happy to provide you numerous reasons why you shouldn't ever shop there.

I is a lawyer

News, news, news, my friends. I am now gainfully employed full-time as an attorney. I start tomorrow with a very well-established and respected local firm. I'll be continuing my work as prosecutor, plus handling real estate, property, estates and probate and divorce law. Upside is that I can work full-time and start making the long-anticipated lawyer money, which is sorely need to pay the long-ignored student loans. Downside is that I no longer get to hang with the rugrats all day after court adjourns in the a.m. Oh well. Can't have it all. Like other working moms, I'm sure I'll salve my guilt by buying them toys and spoiling them beyond recognition. I will proceed to further self-medicate by buying that Mercedes Benz sedan I've wanted since childhood. What? Don't I deserve a Mercedes? Yes, I do. But I probably won't get one for many, many years to come. If ever. Because the next vehicle purchase will be a minivan. Snore.

29 and holding ...

9/11 is not just a wholly depressing day in history. It is also my birthday. Kind of a drag, but I can't complain. I'm just hoping most people will totally forget about my birthday and I can go on being 29 forever. It's never too early to become a "woman of a certain age."

He's everywhere, and I'm ... confused

Little Richard is everywhere. He's on that new Celebrity Duets show, which I only watched one time because my mom was visiting and she seemed interested to watch it. I don't watch competition shows like American Idol anymore. Truth is, I can't be bothered to spend my valuable time listening to people who have no talent. I'll stick with my Barbra, Simon & Garfunkel, The Beatles, etc.

But anyway, back to Little Richard. I haven't seen that much pancake since my last visit to IHOP. And to my horror he was on Sesame Street yesterday singing [butchering] "Rubber Duckie." It's just weird. I guess everybody has to work what they have, but I'm not sure what he has any more. I didn't understand half the stuff he said on Celebrity Duets.

Why am I posting about this? Bored, I guess. But isn't this a great pic of him with The Beatles? I note Ringo looks a bit freaked out. As if he's thinking, "How much longer do I have to touch this guy and sit here smiling ..."

Gorgeous

Her father may be a crazy person, but Baby Suri is absolutely gorgeous, no? Look at that hair! Those eyes! Makes me say, "Shiloh who?"

Fairly Fun

Here's the boys at the Stark County Fair last weekend. Unfortunately, I forgot to take photos of the fair freaks, which is my hobby when we are at the various county fairs throughout the summer. I started that about two years ago when I was pregnant and couldn't ride any of the fair rides. Last weekend along the fairway, we dodged lots of women who looked like Chrissie Hynde of The Pretenders, twenty years and fifty pounds later than her heyday. Chrissie still looks like the rock royalty she is, but these women were far from rocking her look. Sorry this reporter let you down, but you'll just have to use your imagination! What's even more entertaining than the photos of the freaks is me photographing them without their noticing. It's a skill. But I may very well get the crap beat out of me by a very large, unattractive woman in the future.

Anyway, here's the boys, zooming around on the car rides.