Let me tell you something about parenthood

Mommy's poopy baby (with a little cat scratch on the nose; lesson learned: don't mess with the cat).

I'm going to quickly dispense with the concept that this is all "worth it." Well, yes, of course, all the trials of being a parent are worth it. You will never know how much you can love something until you have a child. You may think you love your spouse, partner, etc., but I am here to tell you, it won't even approach the totality of love you will feel for your child.

However, let me tell you that there will be days. Like today. I'm in the kitchen, trying to cook, and I hear Nate complaining. He's just making a low, hacked off, uhh, uhh noise. No big deal; he does that when his blocks won't go together right or that a toy car's door won't open. I take my time and finish what I am doing, then go check on him.

There is liquid human feces EVERYWHERE. All over the carpet, all over him, his hands, his feet, his hair, his arms. Up his back, down the legs of his jammies. He's been sick for a few days and vomited in his bed about three nights ago. I do what I can to clean him off with baby wipes, cart him at arm's length upstairs to the bath tub, disinfect him.

Then I have to scrub the carpet, which thankfully is dark, so it won't show baby poop stains. Then I have to get the baby crap out of the jammies, which I would otherwise have thrown away, but couldn't bring myself to because they are cute. And jammies are expensive.

So parents, you know where I am coming from. But parents to be: steel yourselves. There will be days of liquid poop. Hours after changing a diaper and washing your hands, while you are eating a sandwich, you will find a small piece of baby poop under your nail. You will be thrown up on in a public restaurant. You will get pink eye, the stomach flu, and your personal property will get destroyed by the mere normal wear and tear dealt by a toddler.

And yeah, yeah, it's worth it. But I just thought you ought to be on notice.

We lurve the zoo

I'm rough and I'm tough. I'm four.

The komodo dragon doesn't scare me.

Tame goats are better than dogs, because the don't jump on you. Maybe we should get a goat.

Pardon me, but I find myself summarily unimpressed.

What shall become known as Aron's "Rodin period."

Movin' right along

I got that part time position! I'll be a solicitor, which is basically a prosecutor, for a small town. I'll advise their council, write ordinances and prosecute their misdemeanor crimes. It will probably take 1-2 days a week of time.

I'm really excited about this because I would like to work for the government and I would really like to end up as a prosecutor.

I'm so glad that I can quit my other job and finally start being home with my family again in the evenings. That's what really matters.

Another fine Microsoft product

Well, thanks to the fine minds at Microsoft, my flippin' Microsoft Outlook has totally messed up all your birthdays, anniversaries and other important dates to remember. For some reason it advanced them or moved them back. This development is quite unnerving, what with my ADD and general inability to remember just about anything. Please email me (personally, don't post) your birthdays, anniversaries, kids' birthdays and stuff. Thanks.

By the way, this is my 100th post! It's no surprise to any of you, I'm sure, that I have so much to say.

Well, good luck with that.

This is a blurb from my local bar association's newsletter:

Law School in Two Years Flat
From The National Law Journal

At the University of Dayton School of Law, 40 students are participating in a new program that will allow them to complete course work for a juris doctor degree in two years. The chance to shave a year off student expenses and get on with life after law school may be one reason that the school's applications are up 13 percent, despite a decline in law school applications nationwide. The school is believed to be the first to offer a five-semester, 24-month accelerated schedule.

BWAHAHAHAHAAAA! You crazy, crazy kids. And if you aren't crazy now, you soon will be.

Serially unmotivated, perennially optimistic: time for new hobbies

I have had a few long-term goals in place for a while now. I think I'd like to share because I find that when I mention them to others, y'all tend to get on my case about not doing something about it. I need that, because I am not much of a self-starter. I'm not. I know that getting started has always been the biggest hurdle to any project for me. Once I am going, I'm a machine. I can't be diverted, I can't be stopped. But in reality, I'd have to say that procrastination, delay and generally ignoring stuff has been a way of life for me.

Anyway, since Jim & Karen's moving wedding last year, officiated by a darling woman who expounded upon the joys of marrying people, I decided that I am going to become an ordained minister and licensed to perform marriages in the state. Why? 'Cause weddings flippin' rock. And plus it's like a two-day process and costs next to nothing. And I can put my name in the phone book and get last minute calls for shotgun weddings, or backyard garden weddings, or perhaps officiate the wedding of a friend, ala Joey at Chandler and Monica's wedding.

And dude, I can give them my other card just in case things don't work out. I believe any truly successful business provides for all its customers' needs.

Next, I have decided to learn Spanish. All that study of German in high school and college really hasn't proven to be that advantageous professionally, since I decided not to backpack through Europe then settle down and wait tables in Hamburg.

I'm going to study some CD-ROMs I've got then try to find some people with whom to converse. It's going to be a long-term process, but I know that it will be really rewarding. And plus, you can't stop learning. Else your brain will shrivel up and you'll start forgetting to wear deodorant. Then no one will want to hang out with you.

And I'm finally going to start running again. The running program has been on hold for six years. How I am I going to look like Madonna at her age (or any age, for that matter) if my typical workout consists of nothing more than opening the screen on this laptop?

Anyone who wants to share in the joys of these new hobbies is welcome to drop me a line.

Being a sport is wearing thin

Well, like I didn't know it was going to happen, but working for the world's largest DIY lawn and gardening company is starting to become a bit tedious. I am finding that I can't get a damn thing done on the lawyering thing. I am biding my time until I get a lead on a decent part-time job (yes, as a lawyer) and if it comes through, then I can move along. But I'm really feeling run down and out of it these days. Full time mommying, then working until 10 p.m. every night, then working at least one weekend day ... I am too pooped to do even the most basic of lawyering. Anyway, I smell a two week notice a cookin'.

In other news, I planted some herbs in containers a few weeks ago and they are doing great. I'm making fresh pesto from my basil tomorrow for dinner. I also bought some tomato plants to put in containers.

Kurt and I are starting to prepare a garden, too. We'll be digging up the sod then introducing soil amendments and compost to the plot. It should be ready for next year. We have been talking about it for years. My grandmothers both had incredible gardens. I have really great memories of being in the garden and eating things that were alive mere seconds before I popped them into my mouth (yes, they were vegetables). Kurt's parents still have a really nice garden, though my parents had to give up theirs because the deer wouldn't stop eating everything.

See? I'm too tired to even write an interesting entry.