This job rocks, Part II

My boss told me today we are going to get badges!!! Prosecutors can do that. I have always wanted a badge. I'm going to pass out with glee.

Cops & Alcohol

For the last few days I have been taking a NHTSA Alcohol Detection and Prosecution class. This class is for law enforcement officers; it teaches them how to administer Field Sobriety Tests (yep, on the roadside) and how to gather and document evidence for prosecution of OVIs. It has been an invaluable learning experience for me. I am steadly working towards my goal of becoming an A-1 bad ass prosecutor. I hate $4,000 per case OVI defense attorneys. I just want to eat them for breakfast when they swagger in and try to suppress evidence, trying to save their client (a.k.a. Drunk Loser) from a few days in jail. It's on like Donkey Kong now.

I'm hanging out with Sheriff's deputies all day during this training, and I can tell you, those guys are nuts. They keep trying to convince me that I should "take a Taser." As in, let them fire a Taser at me; the barbs will pierce my skin deliver 50,000 volts of electricity for five seconds. Despite having given it about two seconds of serious consideration, I'm sticking with my original answer of "Hell, no."

Kurt and the bebes are gone this weekend to Tiger Country, Ohio. I will be at home by my lonesome, decorating for Christmas. I have to take the class tomorrow from 6:30 a.m. to 2:30 p.m., then it's home for the game!

GO BUCKS!
MI SUCKS!

Or whatever. I'm not from around here, y'all know that.

%$#@^*!!!!!!!!

I am SO F*ing mad!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Some idiot stole my cell phone out of the diaper bag when I shopping yesterday. The cell phone was in the diaper bag, which was in the shopping cart, which I was pushing with Nate in it the entire time I was in the store. So I call my cell using Kurt's phone after I realize it is gone. Here's what happened:

Her (answering my phone): Who is this?
Me: Um, you have my phone.
Her: Oh.
Me: Where are you?
Her: Where are you?
Me: Where did you find my phone?
Her. In a shopping cart at Marshall's.
Me: I'm AT Marshall's right now.
Kurt (in the background): Why the hell did she leave the store with your phone? Why didn't she turn it in to customer service?
Me: Can you bring my phone back?
Her: I would cost me money to get a ride back to that store.
Me: Where are you?
Her: East side of Columbus. Like, 30 minutes from there.
Me: Oooookaaaay. Is there some place public we could meet?
Her: Public?
Me: You know, like a gas station or something?
Her: Umm...
Me (Rolling eyes): OK. Will you mail it back to me?
Her: You mean, like, go to the Post Office and mail it?
Me: YES. (At this point I realize that I am dealing with a teenage kid, probably.)
Her: I've never done that before.
Me: (Starting to get very angry) Is there a Verizon Wireless store near you?
Her: (Perks up) Oh yeah!
Me: Well, will you take it back there tomorrow?
Her: Yeah, yeah, I can do that.
Me: Thank you. Goodbye.

Me (two seconds later): Hello, Verizon? Please suspend service to my phone.

I mean, it's unreal. That person had to reach in and take my phone in the milliseconds my back was turned to grab something. Watch your stuff, you guys, when you are shopping.

And don't call my cell. Hopefully I can get it back (sh'yeah, right) or at least have my new phone reactivated to my old number. But, I lost everyone's numbers. I'll be emailing or writing you to get them again.

Back in the day

Remember when I used to post every other day? Yeah, me too. Well, I'll hit some highlights for you regarding our goings on.

Work is good. But draining. At 8 a.m. I make it to court and go fast, fast, fast all day until 5 p.m. Then I want to crash.

Speaking of crashes, I hit Kurt's car with my car backing out of the garage the other day. Frickin' IDIOT! [Napoleon Dynamite voice]. I was in another world. So now we have to pay two deductibles. Sigh.

We are joining our church Dec. 3. The boys and I were baptized Oct. 29.

My buddy Jill is pregnant with her third baby! I'm so excited it's her and not me. Just kidding! She makes cute kids, so I can hardly wait to meet him/her.

Found a babysitter for Nate & Aron next summer: one of Aron's teachers from school is going to watch them. That'll work out great.

No cavities for either me or Aron at the dentist last weekend.

The Barbara Streisand concert was wonderful. Sorry I never hit the highlights for you all. It was divine. I could've sat there for days. Ol' girl can't hit the high notes any more, but who cares? She's still her!

Christmas is at our house this year! Should be exciting.