Things are going swimmingly around here. I've had a couple of days on the job and it looks like I am going to be able to handle it. So, that's a relief, what with my imposter syndrome (kidding, kind of). But, oh man, are there going to be some GREAT stories to tell. And it's all public record (see! That journalism degree comes in handy!), so I can share the details with great abandon. Heck, I could even use their real names.
Like today: a man and woman were arrested last night for robbing the local Burger Thang. She was a former employee, so she knew the lay of the land. He was her toothless, wrinkly boyfriend. The burst in wearing pantyhose over their heads and ski masks (damn, that must have been HOT) and held the joint at bay with a BB gun. Yep. A BB gun. Beauty part is that they actually succeeded in getting the employees to empty the safe, but as they motored out the back, two employees jumped and overpowered them.
The felony prosecutor handled their arraignment (both had bond set at $100,000 -- you're on notice now that you do NOT try to rob the Burger Thang here in Bittytown). But it was hilarious to look at these morons and think, man, crime DOES pay. Because it exists at least in part to amuse the heck out of me.
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